This was probably the worst thing that could have happened only because I thought I had control and understanding of myself. It's like there's two people of a manifested responsiblity to integrity as well as emotion, fighting inside me. And these two people had an udnerstanding; that because it was their job as my conscious to keep me safe and focused, I hadd to be diligent. But that DID NOT happen. And now, like a childish teenager, naive to the most important roles of the human function in a world of emotion, feelings and confusion, I have let myself, regardless of how hard I tried to stay focused and undistracted as possible, become VERY p